if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We're too hungover to prance.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize