and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
