my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
