At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
