i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Is Oprah even human
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
