he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
