She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Send help, water and tortillas.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
