I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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