do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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