so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
