she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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