I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
