I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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