we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
