I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
