i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
