Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
