it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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