It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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