I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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