i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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