He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
