I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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