i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
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