I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I stole a fireplace last night.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
