so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
