White coat. Heels.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
