we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
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