last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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