butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
