First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
