Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
