Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize
