My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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