why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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