Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I DEMAND FORESKIN
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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