Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
