Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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