Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
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