Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
did i walk over a car last night?
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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