If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
