i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
