Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
