well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
