this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
