Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
