He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize