Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
