using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
