Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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