My hand turned me down
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
