If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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