so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
