Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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