Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
the condom got lost in my hair
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
