whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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