WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize