I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
