Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize