you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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