Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Michael Bay diarrhea
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
