So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
